5 of the Silliest Reasons Women Give for Cheating on Their Partners

For some women, cheating is really easy and something they cannot resist. However, others do not see it as such. For those who cheat, they make up different excuses for it. Here are some of the reasons some women have given for cheating on their partners according to Uncle Chim Tuna via Mpasho.

1. He complimented my new weave
The diabolical scheme gets set into motion simply because another man complimented their hair -I believe they call this “paying attention”.
Apparently this is more an issue with Nairobi lasses. And I have to come out to defend my nephews on this one: the only man who should notice and compliment your hair is a gay hairdresser called Kariz!

Image result for gay hairdresser gif

2. He gave me a lift in his car
Nairobi lasses are the biggest culprits of this. They actually get swept off their feet by boys driving Blue Subarus -no Njoki Chege. You cannot tell me you have never heard of the way lads that drive bag poon. It has gotten to the point that when a lad buys a car, Nairobi fuckboys tell him, “Si utakufa na ukedi sasa?!” as a form of congratulation.

And true to form, Kenyan women will do damn near anything to pull up at some club in a car. And don’t get me started on what they will do for a slice of pizza if any is offered!
3. We connected emotionally
Pfft! I connect on an emotional level with my barber… Doesn’t mean I am trying to jump his bones. He just gets my hairline!

4. Bad sex
What is this animal called “bad sex”? Uncle Chim Tuna needs all the lasses to listen up. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO DERIVE AS MUCH PLEASURE FROM SEX AS YOU CAN. I will arrive, share in the best 5 minutes of your life roll over and sleep. I am done.
If that isn’t what you want, prepare thyself! Otherwise mate ndio tutatumia. Kubaff!

5. Woiyee sex
One dastardly member of the female gender in our office actually said women will give away the poon you paid dowry for out of that “woiye” feeling. They pity a man and give him some as a pick-me-upper! I need 5 minutes to compose myself as I sobbed ever so uncontrollably.

If I ever found out that this is why my woman cheated on me, I would kill every last one of the goats, chicken and cows I paid as dowry that still live in her parents’ boma. Every. Last. One.